<<< the taste of me >>>

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 22:37:15 GMT

i am an architect of dreams

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 17:17:46 GMT

My Grandeur Is No Delusion

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 17:37:08 GMT

In the midst of inferiors,
I began to doubt my own powers.

The Queen committed heresy towards herself.
She bestows upon herself, Imperial Pardon.

It took a Spark to burn
into this bright red rose
With deliciously sharp thorns.

(Don't Get Too Close)

I sit here with Impulse blazing
through my Royal blood.

Every desire carried out to its
logical conclusion.

Burn.

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 03:33:18 GMT

A New Identity:

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 02:29:12 GMT

She's a Shapeshifter.
One day she wears a crown,
the next she plays the clown.
Today I licked up pistachio ice cream
and wandered from bookshop to bookshop.
I was full of ideas for stories.
I will reap the prize, I swear.
I will fulfill my destiny.

One of these days you'll find my name in a magazine.

In A Few Minutes

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:26:20 GMT

A Love Interest will come knocking on my door,
the Predictable tumble of hands fumbling on buttons
Bodies slipping out of Coats.

We will sit on the floor and play Scrabble
and I will offer him Food: Rice Krispies, perhaps.

It's always the same, but I never can fully brace myself
for the intensity of impact, for that onslaught of red-devouring lust.
.
The Queen is still the Queen
In Bed. She is the Queen of Hearts tonight,
she is the Red girl and, like the Heart,
carries around on her chest two heaving arcs.

Oh Sweet Night.
Oh Sweet Unfired Night.
I shall not sleep much tonight.
I hope. I hope.

The Queen goes to put on her perfumes,
adjust her makeup, make sure everything looks right.

See you on the other side.

My Identity

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:56:41 GMT

Is Fixed.

My actions are not.

the Queen accepts her Fate

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:53:25 GMT

I have stopped whining about being the Queen,
and accepted it for its true nature:
a Blessing.

Thank you Sky
Thank you Music
Thank you Morning
For this Beautiful Day

This Day glistens like a gold coin in my pocket,
A currency I cannot wait to spend.
The Queen has been learning Cantonese.
The Queen has been cooking good food.
The Queen has been having stimulating conversations.
The Queen has been dancing on the balcony in the morning,
watching the sky brighten, watching her hands flicker in the wind.

The Queen believes Happiness is possible,
for the first time, in a long time.

this is how the Queen sees the world

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:03:12 GMT

The Queen's Dinner

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:24:44 GMT

A preparation of 3/4 lb. braised carrots
garnished with honey
seasoned with salt, sugar, black pepper

A cup of white rice
seasoned with salt

A cold glass of pink lemonade + 3 ice cubes

The Queen's Song:

"Caramel"

These Are The Things A Queen Believes In

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 08:21:53 GMT

above all, Beauty
then Intelligence,
then Wisdom,
then Friendship?

Who is to say what these particles mean.
This conglomoration of DNA, RNA,
society + individual yields a complicated calculus indeed.
The Queen is pretentious,
but she is Entitled to it.

The Queen believes that she must live an aesthetic life.
The Queen believes that she must be the best at everything.
She cannot be mediocre.
There is no such thing as a mediocre Queen.

That is all, really.
She needs to know her own value.
The value scripted into her blood,
her remarkable genes.

She has royal blood in her.
She should not let it go to waste.

But Oh

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 08:15:46 GMT

How the Queen suffers in her golden cage,
Resplendant but Solemn.
Look at the plenty,
Look at the silver,
She is like Midas-everything she touches
is beautiful but brittle,
untasting, unedible.
This world.
This world, such misery.

She'll build a new world, perhaps.
She has the time and the power.
She is the Queen.
She is Alone.
She is Sad.

And yet

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 03:53:45 GMT

I make such a Terrible Queen,
Lazy, impudent, lazy,
Imperious, snotty--no wait,
those are exactly what a Queen is supposed to be,
but wait..
what about Gentle
Wise Noble Beautiful Graceful

what is my dominion?
The peons who look at me with awe,
at my prowess, at my wealth,
at my good looks, at my security,
at my social adventures.
The girl who emulates my every high school move,
she is like my daughter,
eating up my advice like daily vitamins.
I give them what they want,
a taste of glamour,
pearls of wisdom.
They eat it up. They
LOVE IT.
They love the idea of royalty.

There are the Paris Hiltons,
those faux figures of celebrity and Queendom
but Paris Hilton is not worthy to kiss my little toe.
She is a False Queen.
She is the Witch.

I am the True Queen.
I am sane.

superiority complex

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 01:57:50 GMT

i needed to prove to myself that i was better than them, better than them all
because i, I AM THE QUEEN.

so the Queen cannot be fat
a Queen cannot be stupid
and read stupid chick lit all day
and not bathe
and be filthy
and have bad teeth
and eat disgusting, vulgar, lower-class, fatty fare.

so the Queen needs to learn how to Cook-
gourmet, the best of the best,
delicious aromatic dishes
like Salmon
like Braised Carrots
like Basmati Rice

the Queen brushes her teeth everyday
She sparkles like a diamond
the Queen showers everyday
She smells like cut grass
Like dew, like only sweetness
and perfume.
She smells like water. Neutral,
clean, and perfect.

I am a Queen

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 01:45:04 GMT

This is my Kingdom, my Castle, my Invisible Harem of Men.
I decadently open my mouth to eat luscious bits of Limited Edition haagen-daas.
I am a member of the nouveau bourgeouis.
My iPod glistens in my medium-sized hand.
I am a Queen.
I am the Queen of Air,
the Queen of Hearts, and of Words constructed from loose arpeggios.
I treat this life like a game.
I wash the dishes, curling the sponge around the plate.
After all, the Palace must be in Tip-Top shape.
Not for any good reason, but because the Queen deserves-
A clean abode, luxurious 5-star surroundings.
She ambles around the Palace grounds,
smoking a lazy cigarette on the balcony overlooking the pool.
I am the Queen, I am the Queen, I am the Queen!

The Queen will go now to keep her beauty.
She needs these regimens, the elliptical trainer,
the weights, the electronic bicycle, the carrots,
the vitamins, the perfumes, the cosmetics, the mud masque,
she luxuriates in these pleasures.
They help her keep the Constellation of Men in tow.

series b: am i a bohemian?: definitions

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 10:17:25 GMT

bo·he·mi·an ( P ) Pronunciation Key (b-hm-n)
n.
A person with artistic or literary interests who disregards conventional standards of behavior.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[French bohémien, from Bohême, Bohemia (from the unconventional lifestyle of Gypsies, erroneously supposed to have come from there).]
bohemian

\Bo*he"mi*an\, n. 1. A native of Bohemia.

2. The language of the Czechs (the ancient inhabitants of Bohemia), the richest and most developed of the dialects of the Slavic family.

3. A restless vagabond; -- originally, an idle stroller or gypsy (as in France) thought to have come from Bohemia; in later times often applied to an adventurer in art or literature, of irregular, unconventional habits, questionable tastes, or free morals. [Modern]

A lady named Ada Clare, known to New York as the Queen of Bohemia, had stated in 1860: "The Bohemian is by nature, if not by habit, a cosmopolite, with a general sympathy for the fine arts, and for all things above and beyond convention. The Bohemian is not, like the creature of society, a victim of rules and customs; he steps over them with an easy, graceful, joyous unconnsciousness, guided by the principles of good taste and feeling. Above all others, essentially, the Bohemian must not be narrow minded; if he be, he is degraded back to the position of near worlding." - from The Improper Bohemians, Churchill, Allen. New York: E.P. Dutton and Co., 1959, p. 25.

In 1904 George Sterling, the San Francisco romantic poet...added his definition: "Any good mixer of convivial habits considers he has a right to be called Bohemian. But this is not a valid claim. There are two elements, at least, that are essential to Bohemianism. The first is devotion or addition to one or more of the Seven Arts; the other is poverty. Other factors suggest themselves: for instance, I like to think of my Bohemians as young, as radical in their outlook on art and life, as unconventional..." - from The Improper Bohemians, Churchill, Allen. New York: E.P. Dutton and Co., 1959, p. 25-26.

...An unnamed British observer who stated "Bohemianism is understood to mean a gay disorderliness of life, cheerful bad manners, and no fixed hours or sexual standards." - from The Improper Bohemians, Churchill, Allen. New York: E.P. Dutton and Co., 1959, p. 26.

"While the Bohemian, strictly speaking, is a native of Bohemia, a gipsy who leads a vagabond and independent life, Bohemians have come to include all those artists and musicians, actors and poets, of every degree, who choose to lead a life outside society." - from The Bohemians, Richarson, Joanna. London: Macmillan, 1969, p 11.

"They had all in a sense, been Bohemian; they had maintained the right of the poet and the man of letters to escape the social system, to follow a personnal moral code, to create his own environment, and develop his originality. They had asserted the right of man to live as he chose..." - from The Bohemians, Richarson, Joanna. London: Macmillan, 1969, p 21.

"The Bohemians of Murger think of the Bohemian life as something transient, something which accompanies youth and must pass inevitably..." - from Scenes de la vie de la Boheme, Introduction, Lewis, D.B.Wyndham. Salt Lake City: Perigrine Smith Books, p. xx.

"’By Bohemians,’ a stage figure of the 1840s declared, ‘I understand that class of individuals whose existence is a problem, social condition a myth, fortune an enigma, who have no stable residence, no recognized retreat, who are located nowhere and whom one encounters everywhere! who have no single occupation and who exercise fifty professions; of whom most get up in the morning wothout knowing where they will dine in the evening; rich today, famished tomorrow, ready to live honestly if they can and someother way if they can’t.’" - from Bohemian Paris, Seigel, Jerrold. New York: Viking, 1986.

"Murger’s disclaimer reminds us that the term bohemien had been part of the vocabulary that described the Paris underworld for centuries. Murger and his friends were always concerned to distinguish their form of deviance and social descent from this other one." - from Bohemian Paris, Seigel, Jerrold. New York: Viking, 1986. p. 125.

"They, too, [including Murger] thought of Bohemian existence as a temporary necessity imposed on young artists and writers, a form of life they would be only too willing to give up once their careers were launched." - from Bohemian Paris, Seigel, Jerrold. New York: Viking, 1986. p. 135.

"Guillemot made clear that Bohemia - defined in his way [as ‘all those whose existence is a problem, all those who live by expedients’] - had no essential tie with the condition of poverty that a Murger or a Privat had assumed was natural to it. There were Bohemians at every social level... whoever built his or her existence on a show of wealth, position, knowledge, or talent that was in fact the product or pretence or illusion was a Bohemian." - from Bohemian Paris, Seigel, Jerrold. New York: Viking, 1986. p. 145.

"Earlier writers had certainly been aware that adolescent rebellion and withdrawal were one compound in the element of Bohemian life, but [Georges] Jenneret may have been the first to isolate it." - from Bohemian Paris, Seigel, Jerrold. New York: Viking, 1986. p. 270.</lj-text>

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 23:33:22 GMT

1 .where do hallucinations "come" from?
1b. Possible a combination of subconscious + external stimuli
1c. if this is so, then our subconscious can make things that don't exist seem like the TRULY exist
1d. caused by mental illness, or drugs.
2. what is a hallucination?
2b. as far as i know, when people hallucinate, they see/hear things that are not real, even though they are awake, and awake =conscious.
2c. thus the unconscious can directly affect the conscious, and at times become literally unrecognizable.

proceeding from point 1d, if all it takes is something gone wrong in the brain or some chemical substance to make us see things that do not exist, how are we capable of knowing that EVERYTHING that we see is not just a manifestation of our unconscious?
3. does the unconscious exist? or is it just some psychobabble term that does not have any real meaning?
3b. subconscious/unconscious is something almost everyone believes in nowadays without realizing it is just one theory of how the brain works
3c. what is the evidence for the existence of the subconscious/unconscious?

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 16:49:01 GMT

people need love! slogan of the last two millenia, emblazoned on the scroll of st. augustine, blaring haughtily through the paris salons. a great lie, neither black nor white but red, deception perpetuated firstly for the Church. if god is love, then in order to need god, you must convince people they need love. secondly, consumerism- sell them love in your 35mm tapes that coil around their loins, market romance in your dry-as-crackers 4/4 synthesized songs, convince them that love is worth dying for- your hair that is, with a $6.99 bottle of Clairol Brazen Blonde. and they will buy, goddamn it, they will buy, because this lie has engrained itself so deeply into the psyche of the american people, through almost every single song on the top 10 pop song charts, Titanic, Friends, Sex in the City, etc. etc. et cetera. last year Australian men spent almost $300 million on cosmetics.